The Quiet Storm

There's this void...
An emptiness...
A gap...
the space between us.

Yours filled with the laughter and joys of maternity....
Mine filled with the agonies and pangs of uncertainty.
The constant thoughts I carry assuredly
saying that should respect my doubt Bey-cause I'm unworthily

worth you.

These emotions I try to subdue.
Emotions that prevent my aspiring virtues,
I don't want to know life outside of you,
Don't want to think of life without us two
Where else could I find a love that brings me to
My greatest strength, you're my greatest weakness too.

I can't imagine and don't want to pretend,
Just want to stay in the safety net of our mutual admiration,
Back to those days we were younger and love was set paper to pen,
When and where and how we let all our devotion and emotion begin,
But now, my present state is a constant debate of how our love story will end.

But I don't say any words aloud,
Even alone in front of my mirror, my individual singular crowd,
I just keep dreaming, head in the clouds,
that's how I've always been about our
life as one and that's how I'll look at it now.

Your baby,
you bathe me,
don't bait me,
no fake Bey,
cause you make me,
and shape me,
create me,
to love devoutly, innately,

I see in you the,
timeless Bey-uty,
picturesque like in fantasy movies,
still I wonder what you think
when you see yourself what do you see
cause I can tell you just from me,
when I see you make it hard for me speak
But when you're gone my tummy's
in knots and it gets hard for me to breathe
and I record and write these
but I'm not sure if to your heart they reach,
so I try to dampen thoughts that say our love has past its peak
I just have to keep praying though sometimes I get weak
it gets hard to believe,
So this is the internal conflict, the war inside beneath

The quiet storm,
this silent poem,
That came out of an emo spirit torn,
a lovely and loving form,
pious born
Pisces emotional norm
a mix of agony instead of healing,  depression & mourn,

But it wouldn't be me if I didn't write,
all transparency needs light,
Bey-cause with you I'm made right,
I'm the most optimistic geist,
Radiating love to all from an order of the Highest
With you I'm my mightiest.

But without you I'm in search of,
missing love,
I'm a broken dove,
without you
the mental quiet storm rages havoc inside blind
spineless I'm bent over, doubt all in my mind
wondering if our love has taken its course and past its prime
or will it phoenix-ly rise again in another place, separate time...

~ A

PS -  I wrote this today Bey-cause I miss you. I hope this poem and message finds you well.  Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.